Superhuman “KT” Brings Phi Psi Formal Bus to Justice

Superhuman “KT” Brings Phi Psi Formal Bus to Justice

431 views

Over the past semester, multiple Greek organizations have found themselves in hot water with Vanderbilt’s Greek Life Office for allegations of hazing, unregistered events, and an overall lifestyle of debauchery. But Vanderbilt alone cannot fight the awesome might of its own Greek system; the university needs a hero to keep the streets safe. The mysterious figure known on the street as “KT” is this hero.

A superhuman with the ability to fly, shoot lasers, and hear a beer can open from miles away, KT has led the charge in reforming Vanderbilt’s Greek community and in bringing the organizations responsible for such vile and delinquent behavior to justice. This university hero is widely praised by Vanderbilt students for doing the Lord’s work by making partying in college slightly less convenient for some students.

But alas, recent evidence has shown that KT is not quite the person of wholesome integrity that Vanderbilt once thought. VPR has had sources confirm that our noble hero has resorted to questionable tactics in an attempt to expedite the process of removing fraternities from campus. On the weekend of fraternity formals, the Phi Psi bus was hit by a semi truck driven by a person wearing a long black cloak and a mask. After the brothers and their dates were evacuated from the bus, police apprehended the semi driver and removed the driver’s mask, only to find out that it was none other than KT! Our once cherished hero then broke free of the police’s handcuffs and flew away into the clouds.

The semi truck driven by KT was inspected after our hero’s departure, and police were dumbfounded during the investigation. On the outside, the vehicle looked like an ordinary truck, but upon seeing the inside, police found some of the most advanced counter-party technology in the world. The vehicle contained a TSR (Tailgate Sticker Removal) system, a URET (Unregistered Events Tracking) system, an FFD (Fraternity Formal Discontinuation) program, and a Nickelback playlist. It is rumored that this vehicle is known as the KaTmobile. Authorities thought that KT had run the KaTmobile into Phi Psi’s bus, but in reality the hero had used the FFD system to shoot microorganisms recruited from the hero’s home planet to infiltrate the bus’s engine and render it immobile. This ensured the safety and security of the students, but does that justify KT’s actions?

The incidents of formal weekend were truly shocking to many Vanderbilt students. But what were even more shocking were the stories that were uncovered as a result. It turns out that KT has been working on numerous underground operations targeting fraternities. Many months ago, KT was seen walking into a Southern Tide store and renting an outfit for the purpose of disguising herself as a Phi Delt pledge. High-tech DNA analyses obtained exclusively by VPR have shown that KT was, in fact, the pledge that filed a complaint that ultimately resulted in Phi Delt’s four-year expulsion from campus. KT has conducted operations similar to this with several other fraternities over the years, and now boasts a wardrobe full of Vineyard Vines, Ralph Lauren, and Brooks Brothers attire.

There is no telling for certain where KT is located currently, but intelligence agencies have shown that the vigilante has been in contact with the Grinch, asking for advice on how to steal Rites of Spring. Only time will tell what will happen to the social scene at Vanderbilt. At this time, students should remain calm and continue with daily activity. The events involving KT have been alarming, but students should trust in our revered vigilante. If not for KT, there would be nobody to maintain order, peace, and justice in the Greek system.

Many believe that all heroes must be as pure and sound of character as Superman, but real life is less glamorous. Sometimes heroes must resort to questionable tactics in order to keep the peace – sometimes those tactics involve forcing Phi Psi to take cars to formal rather than a bus. There is undoubtedly a reason behind KT’s actions, and students should respect that. Whatever happens, we should all follow the will of our humble and almighty superhuman protector, KT.S

About author

Avi Mediratta

Avi Mediratta is a Senior and VPR's Editor-in-Chief. He is from Orlando, FL and is majoring in Economics and Human and Organizational Development. His political interests include education policy, labor and employment, and international relations. He also enjoys chocolate milk.

Comments
  • Adidas Yeezy 500#1

    March 16, 2019

    pztstz,Hi there, just wanted to say, I liked this article. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

    Reply
  • nike basketball shoes#2

    January 11, 2019

    I am only commenting to make you understand what a great discovery my wife’s daughter experienced browsing the blog. She figured out several issues, with the inclusion of how it is like to possess an incredible helping mindset to let others very easily understand several very confusing issues. You really did more than visitors’ desires. Many thanks for imparting these invaluable, dependable, educational and as well as fun guidance on that topic to Sandra.

    Reply
  • adidas gazelle#3

    January 10, 2019

    I wanted to post a small word so as to say thanks to you for some of the magnificent tricks you are giving out here. My extended internet look up has finally been honored with good quality facts and strategies to exchange with my two friends. I would say that most of us visitors are undeniably fortunate to be in a very good place with so many perfect professionals with interesting strategies. I feel quite privileged to have seen your site and look forward to some more exciting minutes reading here. Thanks once again for all the details.

    Reply
  • asics sneakers#4

    January 9, 2019

    I truly wanted to send a simple comment to be able to say thanks to you for all of the marvelous techniques you are giving out at this website. My prolonged internet research has finally been recognized with reliable insight to share with my family. I would declare that we site visitors are really lucky to be in a useful place with many wonderful professionals with interesting points. I feel extremely lucky to have discovered your entire site and look forward to really more entertaining minutes reading here. Thanks again for all the details.

    Reply
  • offwhite#5

    January 8, 2019

    Thanks for each of your hard work on this site. My niece take interest in conducting investigations and it’s simple to grasp why. Most of us know all of the lively tactic you present precious tips on the web blog and as well as improve contribution from other individuals on the content plus our own daughter is without question discovering so much. Take advantage of the rest of the year. You’re the one doing a brilliant job.

    Reply
  • yeezy boost 350#6

    January 8, 2019

    My husband and i have been quite excited when Louis could deal with his reports from the precious recommendations he received from your very own blog. It is now and again perplexing to simply continually be giving away guidelines the rest might have been selling. And now we discover we have got you to be grateful to for this. All of the illustrations you have made, the simple website menu, the relationships your site make it easier to instill – it’s got everything powerful, and it is letting our son and us feel that the subject is brilliant, and that’s exceptionally mandatory. Many thanks for the whole lot!

    Reply
  • golden goose sale#7

    January 8, 2019

    I must voice my respect for your kind-heartedness giving support to those individuals that must have help on this important subject matter. Your personal commitment to getting the solution across became astonishingly effective and have frequently made those just like me to get to their endeavors. Your amazing interesting useful information signifies a whole lot to me and a whole lot more to my mates. With thanks; from each one of us.

    Reply
  • hermes#8

    January 7, 2019

    My husband and i felt absolutely cheerful that Emmanuel could complete his basic research from the precious recommendations he discovered from your web pages. It’s not at all simplistic to just happen to be giving freely helpful hints which a number of people have been making money from. Therefore we grasp we now have the website owner to thank for this. Those illustrations you have made, the straightforward blog menu, the friendships you help to promote – it is all powerful, and it’s really helping our son in addition to us do think the issue is cool, and that is extraordinarily fundamental. Thanks for the whole lot!

    Reply
  • vans outlet#9

    January 6, 2019

    I and also my guys appeared to be viewing the best ideas on your web site then immediately got a horrible suspicion I never expressed respect to the site owner for those techniques. These young boys were definitely consequently warmed to learn them and have in actuality been enjoying these things. I appreciate you for getting so helpful and then for picking this kind of very good issues millions of individuals are really desirous to be informed on. Our own sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to you sooner.

    Reply
  • golden goose#10

    January 5, 2019

    I would like to voice my respect for your kind-heartedness in support of men and women that absolutely need help with in this subject. Your very own dedication to getting the message along has been exceptionally informative and have continuously permitted women just like me to arrive at their dreams. Your amazing invaluable information denotes so much a person like me and still more to my fellow workers. Many thanks; from each one of us.

    Reply
  • michael kors outlet#11

    January 4, 2019

    I precisely wished to say thanks all over again. I am not sure the things I could possibly have taken care of in the absence of the type of opinions shown by you regarding my subject. It truly was a real depressing matter in my circumstances, but considering a professional tactic you solved the issue forced me to weep with delight. I am just happier for your support and even have high hopes you know what an amazing job your are undertaking instructing people with the aid of a blog. I am certain you haven’t got to know any of us.

    Reply
  • off white clothing#12

    January 3, 2019

    I am only commenting to make you understand what a useful discovery our princess obtained studying your web page. She picked up a wide variety of things, which included what it is like to possess an incredible helping character to make certain people smoothly thoroughly grasp certain impossible matters. You really did more than people’s desires. Many thanks for supplying these precious, trusted, revealing not to mention unique guidance on your topic to Sandra.

    Reply
  • michael kors handbags#13

    January 3, 2019

    I want to show my appreciation to you just for rescuing me from this incident. After exploring throughout the internet and obtaining tricks which are not pleasant, I believed my life was gone. Being alive devoid of the strategies to the difficulties you’ve fixed as a result of your guide is a crucial case, as well as the kind that could have in a negative way affected my career if I hadn’t come across your website. That capability and kindness in dealing with the whole thing was helpful. I am not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t encountered such a thing like this. I can also at this time relish my future. Thanks for your time so much for your professional and results-oriented help. I won’t think twice to recommend your web sites to anybody who needs to have guide about this subject matter.

    Reply
  • adidas ultra boost#14

    January 2, 2019

    I truly wanted to write down a small comment in order to express gratitude to you for the fantastic tips you are sharing on this site. My time-consuming internet search has now been rewarded with awesome knowledge to share with my family and friends. I ‘d state that that most of us site visitors are quite endowed to exist in a decent place with very many brilliant individuals with good concepts. I feel pretty fortunate to have discovered your entire web pages and look forward to so many more pleasurable minutes reading here. Thanks a lot again for everything.

    Reply
  • kyrie 4#15

    January 2, 2019

    I have to express my respect for your kindness supporting all those that actually need help on this particular concept. Your real dedication to getting the solution throughout has been amazingly significant and has regularly empowered individuals much like me to reach their ambitions. The informative report entails much a person like me and even further to my peers. With thanks; from all of us.

    Reply
  • ysl handbags#16

    January 1, 2019

    Thanks for every one of your hard work on this blog. Betty really likes conducting internet research and it’s simple to grasp why. Almost all notice all of the lively mode you give very helpful thoughts by means of your blog and as well as encourage response from other individuals about this matter so our simple princess is actually being taught a great deal. Have fun with the rest of the year. You’re doing a tremendous job.

    Reply
  • irving shoes#17

    January 1, 2019

    My spouse and i got quite joyous when John managed to do his analysis via the ideas he had out of the blog. It is now and again perplexing just to possibly be giving away key points that many people today have been trying to sell. We do know we have got you to give thanks to for that. The main explanations you’ve made, the easy site navigation, the friendships you make it possible to promote – it’s got all sensational, and it’s really assisting our son in addition to our family consider that the concept is awesome, which is highly mandatory. Thank you for the whole lot!

    Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *