In defense of crystal meth

In defense of crystal meth

Being in college causes a lot of stress about the rough parts of life, such as worrying about money, working out, or doing well on exams; however, there is one aspect of life that is unfairly represented on campus: crystal meth. The image of crystal meth has been totally and...

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BREAKING: Chad Floored by Rampant Halloweekend Cultural Appropriation

BREAKING: Chad Floored by Rampant Halloweekend Cultural Appropriation

  NASHVILLE, TN: In an astounding turn of events, Chad, of an undisclosed “top tier” house, reported yet another incident of cultural appropriation on Halloweekend. A reportedly “absurd” amount of party-goers were decked out in traditional Risky Business attire, flaunting the look without regard for the storied traditions of Vanderbilt...

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Vegetables: A Liberal Conspiracy

Vegetables: A Liberal Conspiracy

For decades, liberals have been conspicuously promoting the consumption of vegetables in our society. The latest transgression, and arguably the most sinister, was Michelle Obama’s incessant forcing of vegetables on young children. She even put pressure on school districts to conform to mandatory vegetable requirements. Innocent school children often have...

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Healthcare In Animalia

Healthcare In Animalia

Far away, in a land called Animalia, the animals prepare for the winter. It will be one of the coldest winters in recorded history, so it is imperative that the animals look out for each other so that everyone can survive. There was a law in place that allowed some...

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Trump Supporters Call to Abolish the Popular Vote

Trump Supporters Call to Abolish the Popular Vote

Many Americans have expressed dismay at the Electoral College as Hillary Clinton’s lead in the popular vote rises to almost two million. Movements have been started calling for an end to the institution. However, in light of Trump’s claim that “millions of people” illegally voted, some Trump supporters are calling...

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Far Right Calls for a Return to the Articles of Confederation

Far Right Calls for a Return to the Articles of Confederation

Congressman Smith from Tennessee’s 10th Congressional District has stuck to his campaign promise of “returning America back to the good old days” with the Articles of Confederation, announcing plans to abolish the US constitution in the coming months. “Transgenders in my bathrooms! Free abortions! Political correctness! What’s going on with...

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