NASHVILLE TN – With preparations for Flulapalooza underway, select members of the student body have expressed staunch opposition to the pro-vaccination event. Freshman from Gilette, Autumn Riversmith, has voiced her concerns over an event that is in blatant support of vaccinations… and science as a whole. “I just really think the University is trying to shove all this science stuff onto us”, Autumn told VPR in an exclusive interview. Autumn was visibly enraged by the concept that the campus took the word of “esteemed scientists” over her own. “I grew up in a very traditional family with strong, American values and I truly believe that Flulapalooza shouldn’t be allowed to occur unless Vanderbilt holds a similar prayer event for supporters of Christian Science”, said Autumn. She continued defending her opposition to Fluplapalooza by saying “after all, we are in America, right? Our institution of education should serve as the pinnacle of our culture: with freedom, strong values, and more freedom.”
“It’s vital that we don’t let Vanderbilt succumb to the same tyrannical grips of “actual scientific evidence” or “reason and logic” that have enveloped fellow universities like Harvard or Stanford.” Autumn went on to say that “[She] take[s] pride in knowing that Vanderbilt is, and has always been a safe space for people like [her] with a student body that ‘won’t be causing’ more autism among students.” Chancellor Zeppos has since denied any allegation that Flulapalooza is a ploy to increase autism among the student body after Autumn uncovered that paws4autism, an autism charity dog company, donated considerable funds to Vanderbilt University.
Autumn has scheduled a die-in protest to occur at the Rand Wall during next Tuesday’s lunch rush. She hopes that her protest will draw attention to the wider issue of Vanderbilt’s reluctance to form safe spaces for ‘antiscience’ students or accept their beliefs. Citing ‘Caring’ from Vanderbilt’s community creed as the “concern for the well-being and dignity of others”, Autumn claims that the university “is definitely in the wrong here.” “Besides, I’m a pre-med freshman. I know about medicine and biology”, Autumn replied.
Edit: Autumn declined to comment when VPR told her that science is still true whether or not she chooses to believe in it.